


Take it out of yourself

by heliohyuckss



Series: Welcome to my playground [1]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Dubious Morality, Dystopia, F/F, I mean it, Murder, Small Towns, Suburbia, but dont be scared i dont kill, but it has a utopia coating, dont question the government, i can't exactly explain this, olivia is whipped, please dont kill anyone, this is actually me projecting on chaewon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:13:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23026096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heliohyuckss/pseuds/heliohyuckss
Summary: Pretty Chaewon caught Olivia’s attention, like everyone else. But deadly Chaewon made her stay. The Chaewon who lights the fires she claims she’s scared of. Olivia hands over her pack of Marlboros and clasps it against the older’s hands.If Chaewon tastes like nonchalance, Olivia tastes like indifference.
Relationships: Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Series: Welcome to my playground [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1732981
Comments: 11
Kudos: 72





	Take it out of yourself

**Author's Note:**

> i was inspired to write a nahyuck unhinged fic but ended up with a hyewon murder.  
> i know a lot of people see gowon as the soft girl and olivia as the badass (?) but i dont know it just felt very natural for me to write gowon as the violence chaser instead.  
> i hope yall like this muah

The girl rests along the rails. A piece of bloody tissue wadded in her jeans, an even bloodier secret dancing on her lips, dying to slide into someone’s ears.

She tells her cigarettes.

In this perfect little town, nobody notices a teen girl smoking around. They’re too busy with their perfect little jobs or perfect little family. A perfect little nod is the standard greeting which Olivia rarely complies. 

Chaewon sees Olivia on the sidewalk first. She pulls the cigarette out of the younger’s mouth and replaces it with her own, tasting remaining ash on her tongue.

“Why do you still smoke when you have me.” Chaewon parts first.

“You don’t have nicotine.”

“I’m just as addictive.”

 _And bad for me._

It hangs in the air unspoken. 

“For real. Stop smoking, it’ll kill you one day. Maybe before I do it myself.” Chaewon grins, raising a single eyebrow.

Other people would be scared. Especially if they know, but they don’t, and that’s enough. Olivia isn’t other people. She reaches in again and meets their lips.

They kiss languidly. Through her cigarette-induced tongue, Chaewon tastes like cherry lip balm and unsweetened tea. 

Tastes like nonchalance. 

Chaewon is almost never bothered. She’s bored. Bored of this little suburban place with fences and small talk. Polite smiles and friendly waves. So she counts the people who come and leave.

She creates her own excitement. 

Not even that can stir her.

Again Chaewon pulls away first. “Seriously, quit it. Cigarettes taste like shit.”

Olivia doesn’t answer, but reaches out to rub a small fleck of red on the older’s arm.

They never talked about it, but both of them knew. There was no need to.

Pretty Chaewon caught Olivia’s attention, like everyone else. But deadly Chaewon made her stay. The Chaewon who lights the fires she claims she’s scared of. Olivia hands over her pack of Marlboros and clasps it against the older’s hands. 

If Chaewon tastes like nonchalance, Olivia tastes like indifference.

Sometimes she goes with her. Never too close, just a hand when Chaewon doesn’t feel like driving. She comes back without changing or cleaning, clothes less sticky than the last each time.

Practice makes perfect. 

Olivia drives to the soft rock song on the radio.

They don’t talk. The silence is comfortable. Chaewon changes into another sweater, pink with cherries. Falls back to her cookie cutter life, until boredom consumes her whole again. 

She wipes her blade clean. “Want lemonade? My treat.”

Olivia nods and takes a turn to the convenience store. Pulling in, Chaewon presses a soft kiss to her cheek. “Thank you.”

Lemonade is also sticky and hard to clean. 

Somewhere, crimson drips slowly, like the mist forming on their summer drink cups.

Olivia sneaks out at night. In a bricked alleyway, blade pierces flesh.

She reviews her mental checklist. Tick. Kill, clean, discard.

As she’s about to move to the next step, a voice stops her.

“How does it feel for you?” 

She doesn’t bother turning around. “I have nothing better to do.”

Chaewon sighs, rubbing at a brick, running her thumb over it. “Olihye, you don’t have to.”

“I know.”

This town is too spotless. Everything is buried, not a single crime. Olivia needs just a little chaos for her order to work. She thinks about her friends when she was young.

Some of them went missing. Slowly, half the class disappeared. Nobody said anything, nobody talked. The government said not to, so they didn’t.

Whoever it was, Olivia now honours their legacy. 

“Sometimes I feel like this is the only way I’ll feel something.” Chaewon says. “The thrill at first made me fall in love.” _Like how I fell in love with you._ “It boils down. I still like it, but it’s not enough anymore.” 

Olivia looks at her. Chaewon is unpredictable in her predictability, and it doesn’t faze her when she holds up a matchbox. 

They don’t need another word.

Chaewon squeezes her hand, red decorating her pale skin. Olivia leaves.

She trusts her.

There’s order in chaos. She trusts Chaewon.

So when fire sets ablaze and she sees it from her bedside window, she sees nothing.

“A body is found at west.”

Chaewon’s face morphes into an appropriate expression. Lacklustre compared to her classmates, of some who started crying, still passable as shell shock. The only thing giving her away is the look she shoots Olivia.

She raises an eyebrow.

“Not mine.” Olivia says. Her checklist is always ticked.

Tick, tick, tick.

And kept count in her black notebook.

Chaewon scrunches up her nose. Seconds pass before she turns.

Olivia sees the flames licking in her eyes, like yesterday night. The sparks when blood pools by her feet.

They don’t need to clean up. Someone will, assuming it’s not a random girl who smokes and listens to radio songs. 

Someone else they’re not supposed to assume. 

Every time Olivia heads back, the body is gone, faint bleach wafting from the ground, waiting to be covered again with a metallic tang.

“Guess we have a friend.” 

The subject is momentarily dropped.

“I’m leaving.”

Somehow, Olivia knew.

“The town isn’t enough for me.” She knows what Chaewon means. The thrill is temporary, flashing.

An unbeating heart isn’t.

She doesn’t understand, but she knows. They have different reasons. Olivia’s is a distraction, something she can easily replace. To Chaewon, it’s her drug. A fast shot to happiness and excitement. An easy ticket for a high.

“I’ll go with you.” 

At this point, she doesn’t know what’s more crazy: her love for Chaewon or what they do.

She figures it’s the former. 

Chaewon smiles at her, uncharacteristically soft. 

Olivia would set the world on fire just to see her smile.

Step on its ashes to see it again. 

Maybe Chaewon is her own high, the high the older girl finds in late night adventures. Maybe she understands her reason after all. 

Chaewon is this town.

First bite perfect, second bite nice. Halfway acceptable. The core is fiery, too fiery for most people to handle, so they leave.

Olivia tastes the spice from the first bite. The dirt she dug up together with Chaewon. She eats and eats, and when it gets too spicy, too bitter, she can’t stop.

Fire is sweeter than the sugarcoat.

Chaewon is, in too many ways, like the suburbia. She goes to church every week, shirt tucked in to hide blood at the edges. Smiles just as wide to teachers and elderly as her unmoving targets. Sheds tears like those she shed blood from. And just like how nobody questions the high fences at north, nobody questions an 18 year old girl.

Dig a little, a little deeper, and it’ll be your grave before you know.

Suburbia is home, and so is Chaewon. 

So Olivia swallows.

**Author's Note:**

> Uhm what the fuck did i do  
> I haven't written in months so this might be a little rusty hhhh and it’s also my first time writing something like this. Please forgive me and my sins  
> Once again, don’t murder anyone if you’re gonna get caught. And definitely don’t blame it on me.  
> Kudos/comment/advice are very very appreciated!


End file.
